3. Marseille – Budget-Friendly Attractions
Safari and Leah were two adventurous souls ready to embark on an escapade from Lyon to Marseille, armed with nothing but their sense of humor and an impressive grocery list of snacks. They had heard tales of the exquisite beaches and vibrant culture that awaited them in Marseille, but first, they had to conquer the great challenge of budget travel.
As they stood at the train station, they gazed at the schedule, eyes shifting from one option to another. “Look, Safari! The train tickets are between €20 to €40!” Leah exclaimed, her excitement palpable. Safari rolled his eyes with a grin. “That could buy us enough croissants to fuel an entire Parisian army. We need to embrace our inner budget travelers!”
“Ah, yes! The noble art of frugality,” Safari responded, adjusting his imaginary monocle. “What about the bus? Let’s see… tickets are only €10 to €20! We could use the extra cash for more snacks!” Leah’s eyes sparkled at the thought of buying the world’s largest bag of gummy bears, which, although not exactly a French delicacy, would definitely accompany them on their journey.
With a determined nod, they opted for the bus, envisioning themselves living the high life on a low budget. They spent a few moments ensuring they had their snack arsenal ready: a mix of baguettes, cheese, and an absurd number of gummy bears. The bus had to accommodate such diverse tastes!
As they boarded the bus, Leah glanced around. “Look at this place! It’s like a traveling circus!” she whispered, trying not to disturb the traveler asleep with his mouth wide open, displaying a rather impressive collection of snack crumbs. Havoc could ensue, but they had to remain stoic – at least for the duration of the ride.
The bus jerked into motion, and they quickly settled in for a three to four-hour adventure. “Three to four hours? That’s a whole episode of our favorite show,” Safari quipped, pulling out his phone. “We can reenact our own soap opera right here! ‘As the Bus Turns’!”
Leah burst into laughter. “Spoiler alert: the gummy bears are the main characters.”
As they traveled along the motorway, they took turns sharing hilarious stories of their past travels, each tale more outrageous than the last. “Remember when we got lost in that tiny village because you insisted you could ask for directions in French, but you really just said, ‘Congratulations on your llama festival’?” Leah grinned.
“I still stand by my statement that llamas are superior creatures,” Safari said, wiping a tear from laughing.
As the hours rolled by, they made friends with fellow bus passengers and shared snacks, slowly turning the bus into a makeshift party. By the time they rolled into Marseille, they were not just two budget travelers; they were the unofficial ambassadors of camaraderie, spreading joy and gummy bears like confetti.
Finally, with the Mediterranean breeze in their hair and the smell of fresh pastries wafting through the air, they high-fived each other. “See? Affordable transportation is the way to go! With leftovers for dinners, we can probably stretch this trip to a week!” Leah declared.
Safari grinned. “And with our talent for storytelling, no one would dare challenge us for the title of Best Budget Travelers in Europe!”
Amidst laughter and excitement, they strolled into the beautiful chaos of Marseille, having conquered the journey not just on a budget, but with smiles as wide as the horizon.
Free Attractions:
Calanques National Park
It all started with the Vieux-Port. Picture this: Leah, hair blowing in the Mediterranean breeze, me trying (and failing) to look effortlessly cool beside her. The boats? Majestic. The price to actually sail on one? Not so much. So, we did what any sane, budget-conscious couple would do: we people-watched! We invented backstories for everyone – the grumpy fisherman, the love-struck teenagers, the seagull with a serious attitude. Hours of entertainment, completely free! Leah even started naming the boats. There was “Leaky Linda” and “Barnacle Bob”. We were laughing so hard, I almost forgot I was sweating like a marathon runner in a sauna.
Next up: Basilique Notre-Dame de la Garde. Now, I’m not normally one for religious monuments, but Leah insisted. And you know what? She was right. The view from up there? Breathtaking. I swear, I saw tears in her eyes. I think she was moved by the beauty of the city… or maybe she was just relieved we didn’t have to pay admission. Either way, romantic moment achieved! Plus, I snuck in a quick selfie with that golden statue on top. Leah pretended to be embarrassed, but I caught her grinning later.
Marseille’s Notre-Dame de la Garde offers a stunning view. The Romanesque-Byzantine basilica crowns the city’s highest point, its mosaics and bell tower sun-kissed. The Virgin Mary statue gleams atop, overlooking Marseille’s cityscape and the Mediterranean Sea.
Plage des Catalans. Ah, the beach. Free beach, to be precise. We packed our own sandwiches – tuna and baguette, the epitome of French cuisine on a budget – and found a spot amidst the sunbathers. I tried to impress Leah with my terrible French while ordering us two cokes from a nearby vendor. “Deux Cocas, s’il vous plait?” I butchered. The vendor chuckled, but he understood. Leah just shook her head and laughed. Later, I attempted a romantic dip in the sea, only to realize it was freezing! I emerged shivering, looking less like a Greek god and more like a drowned rat. Leah, ever the supportive wife, pointed and laughed. True love, folks. True love.
But the real adventure? Calanques National Park. Leah, bless her heart, thought a “romantic hike” would be lovely. I envisioned a gentle stroll, hand-in-hand, surrounded by wildflowers. What we got was a near-vertical climb, scorching sun, and me desperately trying not to trip over rocks while carrying enough water for a small camel. Leah, surprisingly, was loving it. She practically skipped up the mountain. I swear, she’s part mountain goat. The views, though? Absolutely stunning. Crystal-clear turquoise water, dramatic cliffs… It was worth the near-death experience. We found a secluded spot overlooking the sea, ate our slightly-squashed sandwiches, and just… sat. No Wi-Fi, no distractions, just us and the incredible view. And that, my friends, is priceless.
So, there you have it. Our budget-friendly, hilariously imperfect, and utterly romantic trip to Marseille. Who needs fancy dinners and expensive excursions when you have each other, a sense of humor, and a well-packed sandwich? Just remember to pack plenty of water for the Calanques. Trust me on that one. And maybe a first-aid kit. Just in case. You know, for the mountain goat.
(Safari leans back in a rickety chair at a small, sun-drenched bistro in Marseilles, a glass of cheap but surprisingly palatable rosé in hand. He winks at Leah, who’s sketching the Vieux Port in a worn notebook.)
Marseille bistro near Vieux Port, sunlit and charming. Rustic tables bask in golden light, mingling scents of bread, sea, and espresso. Locals and tourists chat over coffee and wine. The moment is effortlessly romantic—a blend of carefree charm, artistic inspiration, and the slow, sunlit rhythm of a perfect afternoon in Marseille.
Alright, alright, gather ’round, imaginary audience! Safari’s the name, penny-pinching romance is the game. This lovely lady here, Leah, my wife, she’s been putting up with me for, well, let’s just say enough adventures to fill a leaky sailboat. And speaking of leaky, that’s kind of how our finances felt before each of these trips.
Our first big escapade? Italy! “Safari,” Leah says, all wide-eyed, “I want to see the Colosseum!” So, naturally, I booked a hostel room the size of a broom closet and insisted we walked everywhere. Rome’s beautiful, yes, but my feet were screaming louder than a gladiatorial match. Romantic? Only if you consider me carrying Leah piggyback for a block after her blisters popped romantic. We ate mostly pizza al taglio which is basically pizza by the slice. You can get a HUGE slice for like two euros, trust me, that’s living the high life in Rome. Our most expensive “romantic” dinner was splitting a bottle of questionable wine in a park, serenaded by some pigeons. Real pigeons, not Italian pop stars.
Then came Barcelona. Ah, Gaudi! Amazing! Also, incredibly expensive to actually enter anything designed by Gaudi. Solution? We admired them from afar, like distant relatives we vaguely recognize. We became experts in architectural squinting. We ate tapas, obviously, but we found this one little place tucked away where the old lady behind the counter seemed personally offended if you ordered more than two dishes. Turns out, she was right, they were MASSIVE. So, romance, Barcelona style, was us silently battling to finish a plate of patatas bravas the size of my head, so we wouldn’t offend the grumpy grandma of tapas.
And finally, here we are, in Marseilles. This time, I swore, I’d do it right. “Luxury, Leah! Opulence!” I declared. Which translated to finding a room above a fishmonger that smelled faintly of…well, fish. But hey, the view of the port is stunning! (Especially if you hold your breath). We’ve been hitting the markets, buying baguettes that are longer than Leah is tall and cheese that smells even stronger than the fish below. Today’s been a symphony of street food, people watching, and pretending we understand French better than we do. I tried to impress Leah with my French at the fish market, ended up accidentally asking for a kilo of dead seagulls. The fishmonger looked at me like I was insane. Leah nearly choked laughing.
Look, maybe we don’t do five-star hotels and Michelin-starred restaurants. Our romance is more…slightly-sandy-sandwiches-on-the-beach and getting lost in translation. But at the end of the day, wherever we are, whatever we’re eating (or mis-ordering), as long as I’m with her, it’s an adventure. And that, my friends, is priceless. Even on a budget.
(Safari raises his glass to Leah. She smiles, puts down her notebook, and raises her own glass of rosé. He takes a long sip, then grimaces slightly.)
Although, I’m pretty sure this rosé is technically vinegar. But hey, vinegar goes well with adventures, right?
Right, so me and Leah, we’re not exactly loaded, are we? More ‘romantically challenged in the wallet’ I’d say. But romance, you see, isn’t about champagne and diamonds, it’s about shared experiences, and sometimes, slightly dodgy street food.
Marseille, beautiful Marseille! Leah wanted that ‘movie moment’ on the French Riviera, and I was determined to deliver, budget be damned. First thing, panisses. These little chickpea fritters, divine. We found a vendor, old chap with a twinkle in his eye, served ‘em hot. Leah nearly burnt her tongue, started swearing in her best Yorkshire accent. Romance, eh? Cost us three euros, bargain! Shared ’em, naturally. More for me.
Bouillabaisse. Now, Leah, she’d seen Rick Stein slurp this down with gusto, figured that was her Riviera moment. Problem? Most places wanted your firstborn child as payment. Then I spotted it – tiny little bistro tucked away, looked like your grandma’s kitchen. €12 apiece. And you know what? Best darn bouillabaisse I’ve ever had. Probably because it was cheaper, and I felt like a culinary genius for finding it. Leah lapped it up, said it tasted like love. Or maybe it was the garlic.
Then the port! Seagulls everywhere, trying to nick your chips, proper chaos. But amongst it all, these seafood sandwich stands. Five euros for a tuna baguette that tasted like it had been swimming that morning. We sat on a bench, battling the gulls, feeding each other bits of baguette. Leah got some mayonnaise on her nose. Wiped it off for her, naturally. Now that’s romance.
See, Leah and I, we don’t need fancy restaurants. We just need each other, sunshine, and maybe a slightly questionable seafood sandwich. That’s our kind of love story. And it only cost us about 25 euros a day. Which leaves more money for the next adventure… maybe Blackpool.
Budget Stays:
Leah, my love, look at these options! Hostels… “Vertigo Vieux-Port.” Sounds like a nightclub for dizzy Frenchmen! (€25-€40? Hmmm… That’s practically the price of a good cup of Kenyan chai and mandazi! But for a bed? I don’t know, Leah. Imagine us trying to sleep in a room full of snoring backpackers. And after all the trouble I took to find you a nice boutique hotel, are we ready to change our minds and start sharing bathrooms with strangers from around the world? It might make for a story… but will it make for a good night’s sleep before exploring this beautiful city?
And then we have… “Ibis Budget Marseille.” Ibis? Sounds like a fancy bird! “Budget”? Sounds promising. (€50-€70). See, Leah? Still cheaper than the fancy hotel we were looking at, and we get our own room! Plus, no need to worry about someone accidentally taking your Kitenge wrap or my favorite hat in the middle of the night. Look, we didn’t come all the way from Rio to rough it completely, did we? Remember, happy wife, happy life. Even a budget-friendly one! We can save money on food – I saw a street vendor selling crepes for almost nothing!. I would rather spend a few extra Euros on a comfy bed and a bit of privacy so we can truly enjoy this vacation together. What do you say, my love? Ibis Budget it is?
We would have stayed in Marseille to discover more wonders…
But we had to go to: